Exactly year later
After 2015's August overwhelming breakdown I ended up at psychologists. Later during few months of trials and errors, getting used to talk to complete strangers, both in private sessions and groups, I finally managed my problems to be less overwhelming.
I'm taking meds, Alventa 150mg + 37,5mg and it's optimal dosage for me. I don't even use my (in case emergency) Aflobam - it's been six month or more since I took it.
Apart from being constantly tired and sleepy, I feel quite well.
Even loneliness doesn't bother me that much... especially when I adopted second cat^^
Last Autumn I tried to take less pills but it was bad idea. I think I might stick to them for 2-3 years or even longer.
There is no cure for depression - you can only minimize the damage that will make it to you.
To me depression is a lot like cancer, but instead of eating your body, it takes away your mind, your personality, your will. And like cancer, you can fight it off, but til the end of life you will have to be prepared to fight it again.